The day my daughter was born was the happiest of my life. As a gay man, I questioned if I would ever become a parent. But here I was, holding this tiny human that would one day call me Papa.
And she was a girl!
I hoped for a girl. I felt that I knew girls. Most of my friends were girls. My professional circle was mostly female. I never felt particularly masculine myself.
This was going to be easy!
Let’s rewind a bit. As a kid, I loved everything about girl-world. I secretly owned three Barbies that I literally kept hidden in my closet. I wanted to be a dancer but I was afraid […]
Women’s marches broke all kinds of records everywhere again. Those videos showing huge crowds in all major cities fill me with hope.
Last year, the movement surprised many. We knew it would be a big and strong response to the political climate. But no one expected crowds of such proportions. And those of us who stayed home… well, we regretted having missed out on such a historic moment.
But not this year! Not everyone can travel to large (usually coastal) cities. So it seems that every midsized city organized their own march. I would love to find more info about how many people marched all over the country. We marched in Richmond, VA. Friends of mine marched in other small nearby […]
Princess or Superhero? Dress or cape? Beauty or strength?
The Princess in Black says you can do both.
To the world, Princess Magnolia is just like any other princess – frilly dresses, glass slippers, and all. She enjoys prim-and-proper with her princess friends – until her monster-alarm ring goes off. “What is that sound?” they ask. She dodges the question, makes her way to the broom closet, and changes into superhero attire. Through a secret tunnel, she exits unnoticed. Landing on her horse’s back, she is on a mission. She is… The Princess in Black.
“Nah, I don’t like black,” my daughter told me when I showed her the book for the […]
Social media feeds were filled with the hashtag #metoo yesterday. It started with Alyssa Milano’s tweet:
If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.
I hope it worked… for creating awareness, at least. As a male, I can say that men have no idea how common harassment is, whether it’s blatant or subtle. Since sexual harassment doesn’t affect us in the same way, we aren’t paying attention. This needs to change.
I’m reminded of a Facebook post by a friend, who had a conversation with her 3-year-old about […]
Voiceless: adj. Lacking the power or right to express an opinion or exert control over affairs.
It’s opposite day!
Sarcasm usually comes easy to me but this post was incredibly hard to write. So much that I’ll start with a disclaimer:
Parents are doing the best they can, and I swear I’m not judging.
Raising kids is ridiculously hard – I know! And I know you have good intentions.
Lastly, remember each of these points isn’t terrible on their own, and we all do them sometimes – that’s fine. It’s when we practice them consistently that we rob our daughters of their voice.
“Look, Papa, I’m a girl-ninja,” said my daughter as she moved her hands around, fight mode.
Really? A girl ninja? Only five years old and somehow she picked up that ninjas had gender, male gender to be exact. “Whoa, that’s awesome,” I told her. “But also, it’s just called ninja, because you don’t call boys boy-ninjas.” She didn’t really care. She just kept showing off her moves. My husband gave me a look that said both, chill-out and thank you.
It bothers me, though it’s nothing new. This happens all the time. What exactly is inherently masculine about ninjas? Aren’t their bodies and faces all covered up? At least she knew she could be a ninja if she […]